By Contributing Author, Kirsetin Morello of KKM blog
Last week at the blogger’s conference, Blissdom, I had the privilege of listening to Jon Acuff, Jeff Goins, and Michael Hyatt speak passionately and eloquently about writing, connecting with others, and being true to yourself. As I listened to Jeff Goins, in particular, I was struck by his earnestness. Jeff Goins is smart but funny, he’s driven but relaxed. He’s the kind of speaker (and writer) who makes you think and smile at the same time.
I couldn’t help but wonder: Will my boys be like that when they grow up? Will they be expressive and confident and feel passionate about their work? Am I doing what I can to help them get there?
As parents of little boys we’re reminded that boys need exciting outlets for their energetic tendencies. As they grow, we’re told that boys ‘think’ differently than girls.
And while it’s fairly well documented that men and women do, indeed, approach things from different angles, if you take a look at the community of men and women you know, I think you’ll agree that the variance of emotional capacity for both sexes is fairly wide. That is: some men are engaged listeners and thoughtful speakers, others are completely closed in this regard, and a whole host of men fall somewhere in-between. The same can be said of women. Among my girlfriends are women who exude warmth and love, and others who are carefully and quietly reserved, but most of them live somewhere in the middle of that vast range.
As a mother of 3 boys, I’m fascinated by their distinct differences. There are plenty of similarities, of course: they love Nerf gun wars, books of all kinds, and playing sports with their friends. But even as small children they organized their worldly goods differently, one lining souvenirs up along his bookcase shelves, another saving treasures in a decorated box, the third creating a place for each special item. They still organize their possessions differently, and as they’ve grown, I’ve noticed that they organize their thoughts differently as well.
Which leaves me wondering: how much of the way the express themselves—now and in the future—is nature. And how much is up to me?
I tend to think that parents have a small measure of influence here. In my case, for example, I can encourage each of my boys to express themselves and to communicate their needs, desires, and feelings, but in the end, I can only help move them to the end of the spectrum they’re naturally inclined towards. For example, I don’t believe that I can influence my most reserved child to become a gregarious party-lover, who shares his feelings with the 50 nearest people. I do, however, think I can help him recognize and articulate his emotions in a manner he’s comfortable with. I’m trying, at any rate.
What do you think? As parents, how much influence do we have on this aspect of our kids’ lives?
About the Author: Kirsetin Morello is a mom to 3 boys, a freelance writer, and the author of I Want to Teach My Child About Media. She spends the rest of her time laughing with girlfriends, attempting tree pose, and on the basketball court. Find her thoughts about parenting and life at KKM
Photo of books by Bliss Dom 2012, found on Flickr
