By Renee Martinez
Photo from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/238034272/sizes/s/
“Spoiling is driven by the inability to stand up to your child when he makes unreasonable demands. Not only is it frustrating for the parent, but spoiled children are prone to depression, anxiety, and can grow into teens and adults who are unable to handle life’s difficulties and challenges. So how can you fix the problem? Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., a clinical instructor in psychology at Harvard Medical School outlines concrete tips and strategies to quickly reverse the effects of overindulgent and spoiled parenting while instilling character and self-relieance in kids before it’s too late.”
Almost every parent has asked them self this difficult question at one point – Am I spoiling my child?
It’s not hard to be an indulging parent in these over-indulgent times. Even as adults, have you ever found yourself throwing a “tantrum” because something did not go exactly as you have wanted it to go? And when you really examine it, it really wasn’t such a big deal? Come on, don’t lie! But on a more serious note, Dr. Bromfield warns that overindulging your child can lead to serious problems in the future: a child that lacks the tools to deal with obstacles, has low resistance to stress, and the inability to see beyond their own emotions and wants, setting them up for a life of unhappiness and malcontent. Furthermore, a child that has become accustomed to having their every whim catered to does eventually become a nightmare for the family – placing additional stress in the home.
No parent sets out to “spoil” their child – it could be a slippery slope and, before they know it, they are dealing with tantrums, behavioral issues in/outside of the home, and strained relationships with their child. It is an overwhelming situation for any parent, but what is done is done. Or, is it possible to “unspoil” your child?
In How To Unspoil Your Child Fast, Dr. Bromfield explains why, in today’s climate, it is easier to be an overindulgent parent. Dr. Bromfield’s practical methods acknowledge that we all live in an overindulgent environment – so it’s no surprise for children to feel so entitled. Moving to an isolated island is not a solution either, so the book examines how we can be more aware and how to catch ourselves. But he does not let parents off the hook with that excuse either, in a later chapter, he urges parents to “Unspoil Yourself”. This not only makes sense, but it is a refreshing approach in a parenting book! ‘The ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ is definitely not what Dr. Bromfield promotes here.
Dr. Bromfield urge parents to stop feeling they are not doing enough for their children and to take back parental control by not being afraid to say no without explanation or bargaining. He wants parents to stop feeling guilty and re-focus on what their child needs and wants – and recognize that they are being met without throwing a lavish birthday party or buying that expensive video game system, or whatever else they are demanding at the moment.
However, all is easier said than done. Another reason I found this book so useful, was that it is practical. It has to-the-point and simple principles that you stick to, and apply to daily life. Dr. Bromfield uses strategies that have worked in real-life situations and with other parents. He also clearly points out the pitfalls and setbacks parents may encounter. The book tells you: you can love your child without bankrupting yourself or losing your sanity.
Listen to Renee’s RBW interview with Dr. Bromfield on his book, How To Unspoil Your Child Fast: A Speedy, Complete Guide to Contented Children and Happy Parents, tonight, Sunday 11/07/10 at 10pm EST.
How To Unspoil Your Child Fast by Richard Bromfield, PhD on:
Book Review by Renee Martinez. Renee Martinez consults and speaks professionally on social media marketing, integrated marketing communications, public relations and branding. She is the president of Ruby Marketing Communications (www.rubymarcom.com), a boutique marketing communications company that specializes in providing branding, social media strategy and integration, and creative services. Her blog (www.lisac95.sg-host.com), provides resources on everything marketing and social media for her active audience.
Renee has contributed as a featured monthly columnist in the monthly jewelry industry publication, JCK on matters related to internet marketing as well as in InStore Magazine as a featured blogger where she writes about developing effective marketing strategies for the jewelry industry using social media. She is the founder of: Social Media Biz Summit (www.socialmediabizsummit.com), the first large-scale SM conference to come to Buffalo, NY; #jewelrychat, a weekly twitter chat for the jewelry industry and www.RaisingBoysWorld.com. Renee teaches social marketing courses at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY for the business school as well as offers small group social media marketing training and educational seminars for businesses in Western New York and beyond.
Renee has dabbled in internet marketing arena since the early 90′s and is not ashamed to call herself a “marketing geek”. From chatting in AOL, “sharing” music on Napster, and teaching HTML classes before it was considered “cool” to developing comprehensive social media strategies, effective public relations campaigns and managing online communities (most recently Chevy Girls Buffalo).
She enjoys being able to help people find their voice online and to create buzz about their product or service that will give them the results they desire. Renee can be found on Twitter (@reneemmartinez) and Facebook (http:/www.facebook.com/RubyMarCom).
