By Guest Author Lynne Kenney, Psy.D.
There is a sweet little six year old I see at a school to enhance executive function skills. He is rather energetic and would like to throw his body on the crash mat (an occupational therapy mat that is about 6×10 ft wide and 4 ft thick fled with beans or foam) two hours at a time. So we always begin with a heavy dose of running, jumping, side hopping and skipping, even though he’d rather we pretend we’re offensive lineman and just smash into one another.
After we’re all sweaty and I’m worn out, ‘cause just in case you’re not reading between the lines, nothing wears Johnny out, he says “Let’s do menditation.” Yes, menditation, that’s not a typo. When he initially used the word, I jumped all over it, “That’s right Johnny we mend or mind and our body with menditation.” Oh my, he plops down, even though we’re on the cement right outside the backdoor at his school. Bam! “I menditate!” he exports.
What Johnny loves is rhythm in action. We do the same thing every time and if I skip a step I hear, “No, Dr. Lynne that’s not how we do it.”
1. We start by placing a small bouncing ball, the kind you find in the 50-cent machines at the grocery store, on our belly buttons. We breathe into our lower bellies until the ball rises or falls off. This teaches Johnny how to take deep diaphragmatic breaths.
2. There we remain laying down, close our eyes and breathe in our favorite color, we focus on the color as our thoughts fade away. I tell Johnny his body is falling gently into a pool of water or warm beach sand so that his shoulders fall, his hands open and relaxation wafts over him. He knows now not to speak, but in the beginning we would turn over a three-minute egg timer and choose not to speak until the sand has fallen through the timer. In the beginning he used to sit and watch the sand, that was a fine beginning. Your child may meditate by watching the sand time and time again, eventually he will put the timer down, and close his eyes just like Johnny did. Three minutes of meditation might be as still as a child with #ADHD has ever been outside of sleep, so go with it, choose not to talk and just lay there breathing deeply.
3. When Johnny stirs or shows signs of being bored with the activity we sit up sit cross-legged and breathe out in a series of long “Ommm”s. This extends the period of relaxation while still providing the child with enough novelty to feel stimulated. After a few “Ommm”s, we stand and drop into a downward dog pose. We slowly rise, salute the sun with our hands over head, our hands fall gently to our sides and we are done. The whole process takes about 15 minutes now, in the beginning four minutes was all Johnny could tolerate.
4. Once Johnny’s brain and body have calmed, we then work on our “brain skills” for the day. Sometimes we bounce a large beach ball back and forth each stating one step toward being a good listener, kind friend or attentive student. Whatever the skill, engaging the cerebellum while we state the skill seems to help.
As an example:
I choose to be a good listener.
Lynne: I choose not to talk.
Johnny: I choose to open my ears.
Lynne: I choose to look into the eyes of my teacher.
Johnny: I choose to watch her as she speaks.
Lynne: I think about the words she is saying.
Johnny: I ignore other noises.
Lynne: I keep my body still on my chair.
Johnny: I keep my hands folded on my desk.
Lynne: Now I am ready to do what my teacher asks.
Johnny: When I listen I learn.
There you have it. Boys can meditate, even boys with severe ADHD like Johnny. First we get out our energy. Then we meditate. Then we learn and even practice a brain skill.
The brain is a fabulous and miraculous organ. It is primed to learn and grow. All it needs from us, as parents and teachers, is to maximize the opportunity. ADHD or not, meditation helps calm the brain and open opportunities for learning. Give it a try. If you also wish for music, which I often incorporate, Lori Lite’s mp3s can be found on itunes or at her site www.stressfreekids.com.
I am calmer now for writing this story. Hope you and your children will give meditation a try. Mend, heal, learn.
Lynne Kenney, Psy.D., is a mother of two, a practicing pediatric psychologist at in Scottsdale, AZ, and the creator of The Family Coach Method. She has advanced fellowship training in forensic psychology and developmental pediatric psychology from Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School and Harbor-UCLA/UCLA Medical School. Dr. Kenney is one of “the most accessible pediatric experts,” in the US. Visit her website: www.lynnekenney.com
Photo of Boy with Ball by Robert Degennaro, found on Flickr under stilllearninghowtofly – W W Tribe Psychiatrist’s photostream
