For parents of teens and tweens, cell phones present a new challenge. Our parents may have set limits for how long we could stay tethered to the landline but let’s face it, that thing was stuck to the wall. We couldn’t take it on the bus. No one could send us pictures on it. Frenemies couldn’t forward our words to other kids. Looking back, our parents had it easy.
Today’s parents need a solid framework of rules or those tiny little devices can wreak havoc in our homes. Here are a few things to consider as you decide which rules are right for you:
Texting parameters. Many plans offer unlimited texting for a reasonable price. The upside: this saves you money because kids can text like crazy. The downside: a new study shows that kids who text excessively (120+ per day) are also more likely to have sex and try alcohol or drugs. It’s not a direct correlation—more texting does not equal kids having sex—but there’s some sort of relationship. If you go for an unlimited plan, set parameters that are in line with the other rules you have for your kids. Media shouldn’t be an exception to our usual sensibilities.
After school usage. What do you want the rest of the day to look like when your kids return from school? We knew, for example, that we didn’t want the kids’ phones to be an extension of their hands during those hours! Our kids dock their phones (and iPods) when they come in after school. They can check in with friends a few times throughout the evening and phones go off at 8:30 (sometimes 9:00 for our high schooler). They stay on the dock. These are the “right” rules—they’re the ones that work for us. Think about what works for you. The sooner you implement yours, the better.
Pictures. A recent study at the University of Rhode Island found that over half of college-aged kids have received suggestive photos via text. My guess is that these kids didn’t start exchanging sexy photos when they left for college. And here’s the thing: I get it. I remember the flush of excitement when the cute boy noticed me. I remember the adolescent longing. I understand how this happens. But the consequences can be huge. In light of this, we asked AT&T to disable our kids’ phones ability to send or receive photos. We did this right at the store. If your kids are able to send photos, be sure to talk to them about sexting, forwarding, and consequences. This is a big one, parents.
Privacy. Every family approaches cell phone privacy differently. The important thing is to have a policy. Will you periodically check your son’s texts? Will you tell him beforehand? Is he allowed to delete messages without asking? Let your son know what to expect up front.
The best part of your tween or teen having a cell phone? You can text them, too!
By Contributing Author Kirsetin Morello
