Boy oh boy, do I have an entertaining story for you!
So I have this meeting that I’m very excited about today with someone regarding an interesting opportunity. I’ve never met him face to face so of course I want to look nice, which frankly as someone who works from home is not a necessity in my normal daily life. Well, yesterday I had maybe seven little skin thingi’s removed from my face. Needless to say I look like I have major acne problems (see photo).
Yikes! That is scary!
So after I get the boys off to school, I settle #3 and #4 into the couch for some quality morning TV. Then proceed to leave them unattended for 20 minutes so I can shower and transform myself into a fashionable beauty. This takes more time than expected, the blistering wounds on my face are challenging to conceal. In fact, once my mastery is complete, they look like nothing more than big-ass zits that some fool tried to use too much cover up on but had no clue. This photo in fact does not truly illustrate the largeness of these creatures on my face.
So I return from my transformation to the first floor to find my kitchen in absolute disarray. Tupperware, snacks, napkins, opened pretzels, pretty much anything that was at #4’s level has been removed from the shelf and the rubber bands I placed at each cabinet have been broken allowing him entry. He’s sitting on the floor eating pretzels. #3 meanwhile is enjoying his TV show – oblivious to the world around him.
I start to pick up, I can’t be upset as it’s my fault and I smell an incredible stench. It nearly knocks me over. Then I pick up #4 and realize he’s wet so I begin to change his diaper. When I pull down his pants, a load of poop flops out onto the floor. He steps in it. So I carefully pluck his clothes of one at a time trying carefully not to make more of a mess and decide the laundry room sink would be an easy place to give him a quick scrubdown. As I start to run the water to warm it, he pee’s on the floor. Finally I place him in and start to clean him up. I’m wearing one of the few outfits that I feel looks halfway decent given the fact that I want to loose a few pounds. First I was his backside, then I turn him around. He puts his arms on my shoulders and hugs me and kisses me. He’s so loveable and cute. Then I smell that God-awful poop again and wonder what have I missed. I take him out of the sink and start to dress him – when I look down I see poop on my shoulders, in my hair – which he must have grabbed and down my back! Holy cow!
Now I’m poopy and zitty!!
So I carefully shed my clothes and return to the shower. This time I bring the little guy – but my intentions for getting started early was so I could do a few errands before I have to leave….always expect obstacles when you have kids – or at least the unexpected! Truthfully I think I still smell poop and have a poopy odor surrounding me!
Do you have a funny story to share? I’d love to hear it!
