I come from a long line of closeness between mothers and daughters, grandmothers and granddaughters. The men in my family whether blood or married-in, were either alcoholic losers or lost sight of a respectful, love-filled marriage. Imagine my surprise when I married my best friend and produced a male offspring with no chance of a female sibling. I had an obligation to raise another strong, determined woman who could survive their men to form lasting bonds with their daughters. What had I done to upset the cosmos and order of our family? As it turns out, I have a bigger role to play in raising RB, and this last month’s vacation at my parent’s house proved it to me.
RB gets along with everyone because all he wants to do is play and have fun. He does not know how to be the playground bully nor do I ever see him as one. My motto has always been to play nice until provoked; when words do not work, you better know how to stand up and fight for yourself. Looks like I will have to teach this to RB a lot sooner than I expected. Remember I said, “strong, determined” women? None in the women in my family were aggressive, controlling or manipulative, like the majority of women I see today. Modern feminism has told women they need to make men pay for the years of suffering they have caused. Unfortunately this is not the way to equality. It only propagates the cycle of abuse.
On two separate occasions at two separate playgrounds, two little girls found it necessary to beat up on RB. They pushed him down, pushed him away and tried to keep him from playing anywhere near them. These girls ignored my calls for them to stop and their mothers were apparently in no mood to discipline like they should. The mother’s disinterest tells me that is the way they treat the men at home. The daughters are following the example set forth. What exactly are we teaching our young girls? To step on boys that get in our way and to treat them with disrespect? Are we in turn teaching our boys to be cowardly and submissive? Since I do not have a daughter to pass on good behavior to, the best that I can do is be a good female role model to RB when he sets forth in the dating world. Show him that not all women have a chip on their shoulder. Speak to my husband with love and compassion; never talk down to him or call him names. Treat him with respect and value who he is to me; a companion who brings out the best in me and I in him. But for now, I can teach him to stand up for himself, even in the face of an icky girl!
