By Renee Martinez
My just-turned 3 year-old was my little angel. He’s so cute and cuddly. A good listener, a helper…he even potty trained himself at 2 1/2 years old. I had few, if any complaints.
Then he turned 3.
Now it’s as if a switch went on and the craziness came out. He’s an instigator, a hitter, he tells little lies and ignores me when I talk to him. What a change! To think that I have more than 11 months of this.
Oh and the whining, how could I forget that? I understand why he’s acting like this, but it doesn’t make it any easier. He’s caught in a struggle between babyhood and big-boyness. He wants to be big like his brothers, but he’s still a baby. We’ve all felt the frustration of being in a difficult situation.
Did you ever date someone who was such a great person and you wanted to like him or her, but the feeling just wasn’t there? I imagine his frustration as something similar to that. It’s nice to have the security of a date, but if it’s not meant to be, then sometimes it’s hard to break up with someone who you really enjoy as a friend. That feeling of frustration.
For adults, we have the advantage of being able to communicate how we feel. At 3, communication is limited so frustration comes out in other ways. Like by hitting a sibling. Teaching sign language can be helpful for empowering your child with a vocabulary to help them communicate.
We taught my second child a few key signs when he was little. It may have helped when he was younger, but at 3, I just think it’s a phase he’s in. The fact that he has a new baby in the house doesn’t help either. In his world, there’s a lot going on.
So what is a parent to do? I guess being patient is the first word that comes to mind. Since a lot of what he does is to get attention and to test the parents, another key strategy is to maintain control and set boundaries. This is a time when if you let the child get away with bad behavior, he’ll know he can and the bad behavior will continue or even get worse. Be consistent. If you don’t allow something on Monday – there shouldn’t be exceptions on Saturday. At 3, he doesn’t understand what an exception is. He only understands that one day was yes and another was no, so he’ll do what he can to get the yes again.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that children respond better when you sit down and talk to them at their level. Talking in a calm, nice voice and not yelling. Sure I yell, I’d lie if I said that I didn’t, but calm, cool and collected actually works much better.
About the Author: Renee consults and speaks professionally on social media marketing, integrated marketing communications, public relations and branding. She is the president of Ruby Marketing Communications (www.rubymarcom.com), a boutique marketing communications company that specializes in providing branding, social media strategy and integration, and creative services. Her blog (www.lisac95.sg-host.com), provides resources on everything marketing and social media for her active audience.
Renee has contributed as a featured monthly columnist in the monthly jewelry industry publication, JCK, on matters related to internet marketing as well as in InStore Magazine as a featured blogger where she writes about developing effective marketing strategies for the jewelry industry using social media. She is the founder of: Social Media Biz Summit (www.socialmediabizsummit.com), the first large-scale SM conference to come to Buffalo, NY; #jewelrychat, a weekly twitter chat for the jewelry industry and www.RaisingBoysWorld.com. Renee teaches social marketing courses at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY for the business school as well as offers small group social media marketing training and educational seminars for businesses in Western New York and beyond.
Renee has dabbled in the internet marketing arena since the early 90′s and is not ashamed to call herself a “marketing geek”. From chatting in AOL, “sharing” music on Napster, and teaching HTML classes before it was considered “cool” to developing comprehensive social media strategies, effective public relations campaigns and managing online communities (most recently Chevy Girls Buffalo).
She enjoys being able to help people find their voice online and to create buzz about their product or service that will give them the results they desire.
Renee can be found on Twitter (@reneemmartinez) and Facebook (http:/www.facebook.com/RubyMarCom).
