By Renee Martinez
There is no disputing the fact that it is important to be actively involved in your son’s life.
You try to help him out with homework, you get to know his friends, and expose him to new hobbies and extracurricular activities. But where do we draw the line?
Do you drive your child to school rather than letting him walk three blocks by himself?
Do you call your son’s teacher to protest his math grade?
Do you ban your son from trick-or-treating because he might be kidnapped or poisoned by candy from a stranger?
If these restrictions sound outrageous to you, that’s a good sign. If not, you may be part of the group of Americans fondly referred to as “helicopter parents” – those who have a constant urge to “hover” over their children. And believe it or not, the examples I just mentioned are some of the more reasonable ones (think parents demanding that nursery schools offer Mandarin in order to prepare their children for the competition of the global economy– makes driving your son to school seem tame, huh?) Just take a look at some of these scary statistics:
- Since the 90’s, the percentage of kids walking or biking to school dropped from 41% in 1969 to 13% in 2001.
- Death by injury has dropped more than 50% since 1980, yet parents lobbied to take the jungle gyms out of playgrounds, and strollers suddenly needed the warning label “Remove Child Before Folding.”
- Among 6-to-8-year-olds, free playtime dropped 25% from 1981 to ’97, and homework more than doubled. (“The Backlash Against Overparenting”, NY Times, Nov., 2009)
It’s one thing to make sure that your son wears a seatbelt, a helmet, and gets all of his shots – but it’s something completely different to try to control every aspect of his life. After all, the way kids learn is often by failing.
Although it is never easy to watch your child struggle, think about it…who is really afraid of failing? The answer: parents. If you constantly hold your son back, how can he ever mature and move forward? This over-parenting has become especially problematic for college kids who have been hovered over all their lives – they have little to no sense of independence and it actually hinders their ability to succeed in school and, more importantly, life.
Instead of giving in to the notion that an array of extra-curricular activities will benefit your son, why not cut back on the strict schedule and let your child be…bored! No, you didn’t read that wrong. I know just hearing that word conjures up that whiny voice that they use when kids complain to their parents of their unbearable boredom. Truly, though, having free time is healthy for both you and your son. It will allow them the time they need to play with toys, make up games, and use their imaginations. Try it!
About the Author: Renee Martinez consults and speaks professionally on social media marketing, integrated marketing communications, public relations and branding. She is the president of Ruby Marketing Communications (www.rubymarcom.com), a boutique marketing communications company that specializes in providing branding, social media strategy and integration, and creative services. Her blog (www.lisac95.sg-host.com), provides resources on everything marketing and social media for her active audience.
Renee has contributed as a featured monthly columnist in the monthly jewelry industry publication, JCK on matters related to internet marketing as well as in InStore Magazine as a featured blogger where she writes about developing effective marketing strategies for the jewelry industry using social media. She is the founder of: Social Media Biz Summit (www.socialmediabizsummit.com), the first large-scale SM conference to come to Buffalo, NY; #jewelrychat, a weekly twitter chat for the jewelry industry and www.RaisingBoysWorld.com. Renee teaches social marketing courses at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY for the business school as well as offers small group social media marketing training and educational seminars for businesses in Western New York and beyond.
Renee has dabbled in internet marketing arena since the early 90′s and is not ashamed to call herself a “marketing geek”. From chatting in AOL, “sharing” music on Napster, and teaching HTML classes before it was considered “cool” to developing comprehensive social media strategies, effective public relations campaigns and managing online communities (most recently Chevy Girls Buffalo).
She enjoys being able to help people find their voice online and to create buzz about their product or service that will give them the results they desire. Renee can be found on Twitter (@reneemmartinez) and Facebook (http:/www.facebook.com/RubyMarCom).
