By Contributing Author, Lora Rossi of The Hugging Home
It’s a big, scary world out there.
And when you are a parent, you worry about it.
Your instinct may be to cover your kids in bubble wrap and put them in a box and lock them in a closet.
Not a pretty visual metaphor is it?
And of course you don’t want to actually do that…but us parents…we spend a lot of time and energy worrying about the safety of our children.
The big, scary question is just how protective is healthy and when does it cross the line…on either side?
We all see them.
You know. The mom who working in her front garden as her two year old gleefully plays about her. He seems fine…running in the grass…getting fresh air. But then this wee one wanders out onto the sidewalk.
He starts to make his way up the street as mom snips at her weeds. You are watching this from your front porch. Sitting on a chair next to your baby’s playpen. My GAWD! You don’t even grab the newspaper from the driveway unless your baby was safe and sound in an enclosed space.
I mean, what if you end up talking for too long and your mind wanders? What if baby were to trip down the 2 steps down to your front lawn? What if he put dirt from the flowerpot in his mouth? What if his toy falls on the ground and then he picks it up and buts it in his mouth?
OK…so here’s the thing. There is being ignorant and neglectful and there is being laid-back yet mindful. There is being obsessive-compulsive and there is being a little over-protective. And parents run the gamut.
The difficult thing for all parents is knowing what the magic combo is to maintain a healthy balance of keeping your child safe and letting them learn and explore and make mistakes.
We can’t bubble wrap our kids.
We can’t live 18 years of our lives following every move of our children. Controlling every single place they go, who they talk to and risks they take…be it bumping their little head on the coffee table or having a conversation with a kid at school who happens to have a drug habit.
What if he gets a concussion when he bumps his head? What if that kid at school offers my daughter some drugs to try?
Now I am being very general here. Obviously “keeping our kids safe” means mostly different things depending if your child is 2 or 12 or 17. But finding a balance at any stage is hard!
I have three boys aged 11, 8 and 2. It is difficult knowing how long to make the “leash” for each one.
Now obviously, I don’t mean I literally have a leash on my kids. But how far do I let my 11 years old go in our “safe” neighborhood on his bike? Do I let my 8 year old go as far if he is with his older brother?
Being a worrier by nature does not help matters.
But I know that as my boys get older, I have to let them slowly find their independence. Their success as adults will depend on this.
It all comes down to a mix of what your comfort zone is as a parent, the personality of your individual children and common sense.
Our children are not possessions…they are gifts. We need to protect them, but not hoard them. They are their own selves and need some space to grow, make mistakes and learn.
Hold their hand…but not too tight.
As if they are walking on a balance beam, be their trusty spotter.
But also let them open their arms like little wings, helping themselves not to fall.
Then one day…you will hopefully…and proudly…get to see them fly.
About the Author: Lora Rossi is the busy mother of 3 boys, wife, writer, blogger, artist, DIYer, certified home stager, non-profit professional and has a passion for connecting with and helping others, especially through the creative arts and the written word. Lora specializes in parenting, family, kids and authentic living. She’s a ruler breaker, a cookie baker, a lawn raker, an earth quaker, a morning waker, an ass shaker, a for heaven saker, a home maker and most of all a hug taker. Check out her blog The Hugging Home.
