Sometimes I’ll talk to a parent about cub scouts or a sport and the parent will say, “I don’t have time for that so we don’t do it.” Usually this is said very matter-of-factly. Like, as in the same tone as, “I don’t like humid weather.”
I’m not in favor of parents who over-schedule activities either, as that’s not healthy for anyone. If both parents work and timing is an issue, then of course, you have to do what works. When little Johnny wants to try hockey but mom would rather make enough time for her own ski schedule, then I have to wonder how much of the choice was based on what convenient verses what might be a good experience for the child.
I fully support parents who can juggle living a life they are satisfied with while also exploring opportunities for their children to learn, grow and participate in life as well…but the key is balance. At some point Johnny will realize that mom or dad never allowed him to do certain activities he wanted to because they interfered with their schedule. Then what will he feel about the how he is valued in the family.
On a personal note, I really don’t like football. I just never have found it to interest me. When my boys talk about doing a sport, I really hope they don’t pick football because it would be hard for me to watch. Would I discourage them? I might want to, but I would try to give them the opportunity if they really wanted to and it didn’t conflict with other activities (I’m a one sport per season mom).
I would never want to squelch my children’s dreams to make my life easier or for my own personal benefit. That’s why I had kids – to share and learn and grow together. Not to mold them into some little puppet I want them to be or imagine. Life is a perfect convenient package. If that’s what you want, kids might not be for you.
