This is my sink after breakfast. Like laundry, my sink replenishes itself. The never-ending pile of dishes, if left unattended, would grow into a mountain on my counter.
While I may not love doing dishes (I don’t put plastic in the dishwasher), with little ones, this is just one of my household jobs. There comes a point where the kids can help and should- like it or not. For me, my rule has always been that the boys need to bring their dishes to the sink. Sometimes they forget, but when they don’t it really helps me (I feel less like a maid).
The simple task of having the children pick up their dishes and bring them to the sink when finished creates that sense of responsibility. My 2 year-old brings his little dish and cup to the sink. He’s proud to contribute. It makes him feel big and of course I smile and thank him when he does so he sees that it makes me happy because he did a good thing.
The best part of this expectation I’ve created comes when we go to someone else’s house and the boys bring their dishes to the sink. It teaches manners and respect too.
Having boys, I also don’t want them to be part of a society that assumes women are in the kitchen tending to the man’s needs. While it’s difficult to imagine, this mentality does still exist and I want no part of it. Building responsibilities that help out and are frankly good habits and manners teaches partnership. The older boys help me put the dishes in the dishwasher, they help me wash them and all the boys help put them away or set the table. I think of the kitchen like a family room so it’s community space we all need to respect and take care of.
When I was a kid, I don’t remember my mom enforcing this. I think she saw it as her job to clean up after us. In my adult life, there have been occasions when my brother or father did not bring their dishes to the sink…and it seems wrong to me. It’s the least someone can do.
