This week, RB surprised us with three new words. These are words that we have been working on for him to say ever since he mumbled his first word. They were slightly coaxed, but totally in context and extremely gratifying to hear.
For the last 2 ½ years, I have learned just how independent RB can be. It is beyond frustrating to me at times because I, as an only child, was never like that. I required lots of help but did things when I was told to. However, my personality lends positively to persistence and this helps me immensely today in dealing with my independent only child. But there are times where my persistence fails to rouse the dormant actions or responses that I immediately demand. Three new words have taught me to step back and let go of the reigns.
Raising children is an amazing experience that can definitely teach old dogs new tricks! By figuring out how your child learns best you can practically become an expert at all your relationships. This week it has become ever apparent that I will not be able to force much upon him and expect it accomplished immediately. My son will have to learn by experiencing situations that require him to use what he has been taught. The amazing thing about this knowledge is that he is listening and it will click! I love this quote from Dr. Laura Markham about parenting priorities – Giving up some control so he can develop some mastery over his world.
As an only child, I did not have competition to do better than siblings or time restraints to keep me on top of activities. Everything was done at my own pace and following the simple phrase of getting it done right the first time. I have not placed RB in the same box because of his “I can do it myself” attitude. I am on top of him more than my parents were on me because I want to keep that desire in him. I push him to try new things and some of the time I get an emphatic “no, Mommy”. This is the time that I need to step back and forget about control. He can be a typical only child; more than what I had recognized previously, though his independent side sometimes blurs the line. His stubbornness and determination will give way to real learning and advancement. I just need to get out of his way!
By Beth Sanborn, of Far From Camelot
