This is a guest post by the lovely Jillian Livingston. Jillian is a Travel Writer and the owner of the blog, Aspen Real Life. Thriving on discovering adventures around Colorado with her ruggedly handsome husband and their three boys, Jillian humorously reveals her experiences and resort town living through stories and photographs.
___________________________
I put on my biking clothes, as I got the boys ready for school, my adrenaline pumping in anticipation of my first spring day out in the sunshine. Living in the mountains, our summers are cut short by extensive snowfall both on the front and back end of the season. This year it is going to be an exceptionally short summer with April and May bringing on the moisture. At least in the winter you can throw your kids into the snow and build forts but with day in, day out rain, the tempers begin to brew and foam and families find it best to keep to themselves lest the fists start flying.
Sometimes, it all gets too much; the weather, the financial stress, three boys…. I’ve been less than charming lately, and that’s putting it mildly. But a little Vitamin D can work wonders and as we drove over to pick up the girls in our carpool the boys announced that they were happy to see that their “good” Mommy was back. With their favorite radio station blaring the same top ten hip hop songs, ensuring that we learn every word by heart, we sang together as one big, happy, cohesive unit, and it did indeed feel good to be back to my usual fun self with my sweet boys.
After picking up the girls, I watched as the little one quietly inserted her thumb into her mouth, her big blue eyes innocently taking all the boy energy in. Being a fellow thumb sucker until I was ten, I deeply empathized. I knew that our music was a complete departure to “This land is your land,” and I wondered if it was all too much culture shock for her.
When we arrived at school my middle son, Axel, began to whimper. He had dark rings under his eyes and he complained of a tummy ache. I looked into his melt chocolate eyes with long dark lashes and I realized that I could not pump him up on Motrin & Vitamin C and send him on his way, not even with the superb combination of best friends, bikes and sunshine awaiting just fifteen minutes away.
I had to work hard to not show my frustration and resentment that my day had taken a turn but my perceptive little boy knew what was up and I watched his face change with the acknowledgment that I was wishing to be elsewhere when all he so desperately needed was my undivided attention.
As the day progressed Axel revealed to me his deepest thoughts and I made a pact to myself to allow these precious moments to happen on a daily basis. I absorbed every detail of his stories, how he got in trouble at school for talking when he was actually defending a student who was being teased and how his teacher did not listen to him when he tried to explain and so he just gave up.
We talked about the pain he feels when he hurts himself, “I shake my body until the pain goes away but when somebody hurts my feelings, that is when I cry, even though I don’t want to,” he revealed. Tears came to my eyes as I listened to my quiet little boy who has learned to keep his thoughts to himself for nobody seems to hear what he has to say.
Axel’s message was clear, I was just as guilty as his teacher’s who fall into the pattern of coexisting without communicating or connecting and I became determined to change that. As my mother always says, these are the best times of my life and I need to appreciate them while they are here.
The boys are growing up quickly and I need to remain present or I will miss many a precious moment and I thank Axel for this reality check, the bike ride can wait.
