I’m done having children. I have my 4 boys who thankfully, are healthy and happy little humans that bring my husband and I great joy in our lives. Honestly, I love having kids – which always surprises me because before I ever had any of my own, I never saw myself as a wife or mother. I wanted to be in the business world and eventually land in academia. Well, then I met my husband and quickly realized he was the one I would spend my life with. After about a year into our marriage, I realized that having children would be a beautiful addition to our lives and so we began a family. I’ve talked about this before, but with every child, I held onto 10 lbs. and I’m only 5’2″ tall so an extra 40 lbs. is like, well… holding a 3 year old 24/7. Not comfortable. Not healthy.
Here are the actual depressing stats: Before babies I weighed 125ish. I’ve always been athletic and my body fat prior to motherhood was 23%. Then, after babies everything changed. As of January this past year, my weight skyrocketed to 175ish. I was wearing size 12, sometimes 14. My body fat (I did the BOD POD) was 33%. The doctor told me I had high blood pressure and I was medicating myself with food when I felt emotional. I was always fit and healthy and cared about how I felt and looked – but now in the life as a busy mom of four, juggling my family and business…I let myself go. Going into my closet was like putting my emotions in front of me to see – and it wasn’t pretty – nothing fit. I was miserable. I forgot about who I was.
This past January 1st, I took a deep look at myself and realized how crabby and lost I felt. I really started to miss the energy and enthusiasm I had and time was passing with my family that I wasn’t enjoying or appreciating because I’d become so self conscious about myself. I vowed to lose the weight and get healthy.
Now, I’m weighing in at 150. My goal for January 1, 2011 is to weight 125.
What have I done? I’ve started playing more tennis, lifting weights, taking spinning classes (11 years ago I taught spin classes!) and running more. I was always a runner – even when I was heavier, I would run an annual half-marathon in my area. Not very well mind you – but I would get by in about 2:20. Now I run. By this I mean, I really love to run and feel that it allows me to escape and relax. I gain a sense of freedom from a run and a feeling that what I’m doing is awesome. I know that sounds corny, but it is. Running down a road, sweating and yet feeling good. To me that’s an accomplishment.
Here’s the other thing. I want my kids to see that their mom cares about herself. That I’m strong and athletic too. I want to run and play and swim with them. Not just watch them. I want to be in and part of their lives – not just observe theirs through my cranky glasses. Life is short and I want in it at full speed! I want to be an example to them.
So as you already know, I’ve registered for the Marine Corps Marathon on October 31st in DC. If you live there – you need to email me because I need as many people to cheer me on as I can muster up! Plus, I’d love to meet you. I turn 40 next year and I’ll be damned if I let age or feeling down about myself prevent me from enjoying the fruits of life.
I will keep you posted on my progress and I would love to hear if you’re doing a race soon and where or if you’ve had similar struggles and what you did. I’d love to hear from you!
