This is a guest post by Nan Gibbons, proud single mother of Reid, as well as a driven businesswoman who owns a personal training and fitness advisory company in San Diego. Nan and Reid enjoy travel, spending time at the beach (currently learning how to surf), and the company of their mischievous puppy, Cody. You can read more on her lifestyle website: Eat Breathe Blog or follow her on Twitter: @healthnut2011
When my husband and I divorced two years ago, I was left with a failing business and a one-year-old son. We had ambitiously started a personal training and nutrition company together, and when the recession hit, our financial struggles proved too much for us and we separated. In one of our more bitter arguments, my ex-husband predicted I would fail with the company and as a single parent. However, his words only served to strengthen my determination to not only succeed, but to do so in such a way that there could be no doubt.
My son Reid was my primary concern. He was too young to understand the tension, or why his father was suddenly only available to him every other weekend, so I tried to keep things as normal as possible. I had moved out of our home and relocated to a small, two-bedroom apartment close to my business. I decorated his new bedroom similarly to his old one and kept him on the same schedule.
Thankfully, I was able to bring him with me to work, and I continued to actively participate in his daily life. Before our divorce, my husband and I had taken turns going to the office and staying home with Reid, but I set up a play area for him and was able to spend my entire day with him in one capacity or another. I hired a part-time receptionist to help with the mountains of contracts, mail, and paperwork, and Joanne happily watched Reid when I met with clients.
That first year was the most difficult year I had ever gone through. Money was tight and I felt overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities. I was depressed about the break-up of my marriage and my ex-husband’s callous attitude toward me. He was still a spectacular parent to Reid, but the closeness we had once shared was replaced with bitter barbs and thinly-veiled insults. I tried to be Super Mom, but there came a day when I started crying uncontrollably, at which time I decided I should see a counselor. This proved to be very beneficial and healing, and helped me to remain on track with everything. Joanne was a seasoned single mother and taught me the huge importance of coupons and budgeting, which helped relieve my money worries.
I am pleased to report that my ex and I get along a lot better now. My business, which I had almost given up for dead, has begun to thrive again. Reid is a rambunctious three-year-old who loves dinosaurs, and we take frequent trips to the local children’s museum, where he can pretend to be an archaeologist as he learns about dinosaur bones and the difference between carnivores and herbivores. Our apartment, which seemed so cramped at first, has become our haven, and we cherish our time together. What had seemed an impossible task has turned out to be the greatest adventure of my life, one that I am getting better and better at every day.
