Is the challenge of managing family and work stressing me out, or are my kids a little wild?
I can’t say for sure but one thing is for certain, recently they’ve had some wild moments that have really pushed my patience. Just a few days after Halloween, after they had stayed up later than usual and consumed more than their normal share of candy (which is likely the culprit for some of their naughty antics in the days that followed) we had a wild day. The weather was gorgeous and of course, they’re in school, so I’m sure they would rather be outside playing and having fun…I know I would… But what gives?
So I decided to surprise the boys by planning an adventure to go on. I packed up snacks and drinks for them and contacting their schools to make sure they didn’t get in the bus. Then the littlest one and I packed up the car and drove to get the big brothers to go on our journey. Boy #4 was very excited because he was in on the surprise and knew the plan.
We went to pick up Boy #2 and 3 at their school and this is where the craziness began… The secretary, whom I’m very find of, forgot to tell their teachers that they were getting picked up so they had already gone on the bus. Of course, I wasn’t going to be home so that started my blood pressure rising… I raced home. I could see that despite the bus driver noticing my garage door was closed, he let them off at my house. This type of responsibility is not something I want to impose on my 8 and 5 year olds. I wasn’t very happy.
I walk in to find that my 5 year-old had placed his folder and lunch box on the counter (he’s such a good boy). I called out for them and heard no reply. I repeated my calls and found that they were indeed not at home – but clearly had been.
Of course now, I’m getting worried.
The dog is running around out of his kennel, the phone is ringing and it’s the school secretary calling to tell me how terrible she feels that she had forgotten to inform the teachers and then I see that the front door is unlocked. Ugh…now my worry is growing though I’m quite certain that they went to a neighbor’s house…I’m still concerned.
The phone rings. It’s Boy #2 telling me that he and his brother are at a neighbor’s house down the street and asking if they can stay and play. In a not so friendly nor happy tone, I told him to come home immediately.
I sat them at the table and had a discussion when they arrived. I was annoyed and wish I had hugged them and told them how worried I was and how happy I am that they are safe…but that was not my initial response. Am I mean for getting annoyed first?
So then we had a chat. I asked why they went to a friends house and why the door was unlocked. Apparently, when they came home, a friend of theirs recognized that I was not home and came over to bring the boys to his house. He came to the door and of course, my sons answered and they went to his house.
This turned into a good opportunity to have a conversation about my expectations, should this ever happen again. I told them that under no circumstances do we open the door for anyone. That we should not answer the phone unless it’s Hubby or I and that they should have called my cell as soon as they came in the house. Then my son started crying and told me that he didn’t have my cell number- so this just broke my heart and verified that he is not ready to be left alone even if I was willing to try it on occasion (which I’m not).
After all the drama, I had to get the boys in the truck to go get Boy #1 from school (30 minutes away) because at this point, he had already missed his bus. Of course they started whining, but I told I had an adventure planned and that it would be fun. They agreed to cooperate.
We picked up my son and walked around school a bit, then upon getting in the car I shared the details of my adventure. They were not impressed about going to the zoo. They actually complained and told me it sounded boring and that they wanted to go home.
I was like, “What?!!, I’ve done all this for nothing?” They wanted nothing to do with my plan and moaned and complained. I gave them a few other options which all except the baby complained about. He was the only one who really wanted to do an adventure.
Their complaining however, wore me down and I pulled the car over to the side of the road and yelled at them. “I’m really hurt that you are complaining about something I know would be fun and that I took the time and went out of my way to coordinate! It’s a beautiful day and I wanted to enjoy the outdoors with you. I’m going away tomorrow and I wanted to enjoy you guys and have a fun time together but you can forget about it now. I have no desire to hang out with whiny kids and I think your behavior has been rude. You owe Boy #4 an apology because he wants to do this and you guys have ruined it for him too. Life is not just about you- wake up boys… I live here too!”
Then we went home and I made them stay outside and play after all their homework was done until dinner was ready. Soon the babysitter I called came over and I met Hubby out for dinner with a few friends. The beer tasted really good, and I seldom drink unless I’ve had a bad day.
Now I’m heading to LA without kids for 3 days and while that sounds great, I feel guilty that I yelled at my kids before I left. I really wanted to have a fun day with them, to leave on a good note.
What would you have done differently?
