When I was young, I could get lost in the sky. The cloud formations, the beautiful palette of colors decorating the sky and the wonder of the unknown. I’ve always assumed it was some sort of hopeful longing to catch a glimpse of my grandmother, who died far too young. A woman who despite only sharing 7 years of my life, made an impact for my lifetime.
As I moved through the years and locations, my awareness of the sky in all it’s glory faded somewhat. While I certainly recall moments of awe and wonder, I can’t recall wishing I had a camera to capture the view or some paints to paint it. It never really crossed my mind to be honest and I’m not quite sure why.
Then, one day I was on an adventure in New Mexico with my friend Christina. It was a last-minute trip to get away from our young adult lives in Chicago for a few days. This was in the early 90s. No cell phones or Travelocity. Other than our flights and a car rental, I don’t recall booking any accommodations or having any type of plan whatsoever. We were truly on an adventure. Winging it and exploring. Thelma and Louise.
We brought a video camera, a still camera and some loose plans of things to see based on limited research. Our primary objective was to drive around. And drive we did….
When we picked up our car rental, a Jeep Cherokee with a few hundred miles on it, we decided that we needed to drive as far north as the northernmost town (I think called Red River) to the Colorado border and that we needed to see White Sands. We knew based on our limited time that this would eliminate some incredible sights but we were alright with that. I won’t bore you with details but what I will tell you is that at some point along the road I saw the sky again.
You’re probably thinking how obvious, of course I saw the sky! How can anyone miss the gorgeous sky in New Mexico?! I guess I don’t mean so much that I viewed the sky with my eyes, but rather, I felt something from the beauty of the sky that energized and inspired me.
Maybe I was just channeling Georgia O’Keefe, a woman’s work I’ve always enjoyed or Agnes Martin, who found peace and inspiration there. Maybe it’s the deeply rooted Native American culture rich with artistic inspiration that connected with me on some spiritual level.
All I can tell you is that something magical that happened. I remember at one point on our drive, hearing what sounded like thunder but when we looked toward the noise, we saw horses, running wildly. We pulled over to watch them cross in front of us. They were beautiful. So unexpected. I think I actually captured this on video but I have no idea where that is. These memories are from so long ago that the details feel like parts of a dream.
At one point, we decided that since we had a Jeep, we should take one of the dirt roads and see what we might find. On one such occasion, we found a huge bridge. It was then that I really remember stopping and looking up with wonder and awe again. The rest of the trip was peppered with these moments of creative awakening. I remember interviewing people on our journey with our video camera, hanging out with ranchers as we charged our camera and barely making it back to the airport in time for our flight. It was ridiculous. We were ridiculous. But without question, with our freedom, came creativity.
When I returned back to Chicago, I brought with me an intense desire to use the newly found inspiration to create something that might reflect the beauty of the landscape and share the wonder of where I’d been. It was the beginning of my reconnection with my art. I would go on to do a few little shows in local coffee shops here and there but it wouldn’t be many years until I truly was willing to call myself an artist. But that my friend, is a story for another day.
