By The Major, of Kay Nou = Our House
Rules to Live By:
At first glance, our house may appear to resemble a free hotel and restaurant with its own “no fee” ATM. Limo services and personal shopping assistance are available upon request.
Nevertheless, there are rules.
Not just, “Clean up your room” (yeah, right) or “Do your chores” (As if). But I’m talking real rules on how to live.
At times, some of the junior members of our house claim that they are “unfamiliar” with the rules of the house.
As any jailhouse lawyer will gleefully inform you, ignorance of the law is a piss-poor defense.
Nevertheless, being the infinitely merciful and patient Major, I will publicly state for all the rules of our house: and the rules to live by:
The only criteria that you may use to judge people is the content of their character. Since we just passed MLK Day, we’ll start with this one in light of the fact that I poached it right from the King himself. Looks come and go. Intelligence doesn’t make you great. What a person says and does and the degree to which they follow through are what really count in this world.
We think the best of our friends and loved ones, never the worst. Unfortunately, not everyone was raised with this motto. I myself need to overcome negative thoughts about those close to me from time to time. But, if we don’t assume the best of our friends and loved ones, who will?
Be happy with what you have.
This is our family motto at Kay Nou (the name for our house). It is also the secret to happiness in life.
Watch your lane.
This is the final instruction issued on every live fire exercise in the U.S. Army. If you watch your lane, you may hit your target. If you watch other lanes, you will miss and others may possibly die. This axiom is closely related to the rule right above it. Keep your eyes on your own progress and don’t worry about what others are achieving or earning.
Although I may act like the janitor from time to time, in fact I am not.
If you see something that needs fixing or correcting, try your hand at it. Don’t avert your eyes and assume that it will be taken care of when the second shift arrives home. If you fail in your attempt, you will gain my esteem, not lose it.
The magic elves died. Actually, I killed them.
Do you know how that icky stuff that you leave in the drain mystically disappears after you walk away? You don’t? Well, you’re about to learn.
Take not counsel of your fears.
General George S. Patton was right. Fear is a normal human response to situations beyond our control. But, letting our fear guide us in difficult situations is almost a guarantee for failure. At one of our country’s darkest hours, a man who had come far to surmount his own personal handicaps, offered these words to his nation shortly after taking the Oath of Office of president:
This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt (First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933)
Remember who you are.
You have something special going here. You are the only person who can take that away from yourself. Peer pressure can make all of us depart from our true selves at times. Don’t stray far.
Although neither of us may like what the other is doing right now, we may come to respect those actions at a later date.
The older I get, the more I come to realize the validity of this statement. Unless I’m deluding myself, I think this passes for wisdom.
Get up after a fall.
Everyone gets knocked down by life every now and then. The measure of a man is not how many times you fall. Rather, it’s how quickly you get back up.
Dad is not your friend. He is your father.
If I do my job correctly, you will have many friends later in life. I hope you will have only one father.
I trust you. Now, please trust me.
Although you really don’t know what you’re doing yet (and despite the fact that your frontal cortex is not yet fully formed), I pose a certain amount of trust in you everyday. As for me, sometimes I know what I’m doing. To quote John Hiatt: Have a little faith in me.
Although you may think you’re a screw-up, my money is on you for the long run.
I’m betting on you, pal. Why? Because you’re excellent. I know I’m right on this one.
The best acts are the good deeds that no one ever learns about.
Do at least one of these a day. That’s what having a healthy soul feels like.
Unlike fine wine, bad news does not age well.
Come to me now and we can try to figure it out. Trust me, the other way doesn’t work as well.
No matter what, stop and tell yourselves that your parents love you and would lay down their lives for you.
Repeat as necessary.
Now, clean your rooms and do your chores.
About the Author: The Major is an attorney and former Army officer. He and his wife (and fellow blogger) Running Girl are doing their best to raise a family of five in Western New York.
Please visit their family blog at Kay Nou = Our House
Photo of tree leaves by Zharth on Flickr
