By Renee Martinez
Without a doubt, raising children alone is difficult for anyone. But it becomes even more tricky for moms to raise a son without a positive adult male role model around. Raising boys as a single mom doesn’t have to be scary, though. With a little confidence and a lot of understanding, women can bring up their sons to be emotionally healthy, productive, and successful men.
As a single mom, it’s important not to teach your son to have a negative opinion of men. Even though you might feel this way and be tempted to project those feelings onto your son, give him positive male role models to look up to instead. Point it out to your son when a waiter or salesman is particularly helpful or friendly – just because you don’t have a man in your house, there is no reason to believe that your son can’t learn how respectful, caring men should act. Also, it is important not to treat your son like “the man of the house” simply because his father doesn’t live here. Remember that he is still a child – it isn’t his job to take care of you or perform the household tasks that your husband might have.
Another way to give your son someone to look up to is to get him involved in a group for just boys, such as a sports team or boy scouts, which will give him a sense of belonging and a place to learn things that he won’t necessarily pick up from being at home with you. Often, groups like cub or boy scouts hold “father/son” events such as camping trips or picnics, but don’t let that intimidate you. Simply let the troop leader know – they should be more than accommodating of your situation.
It is a common worry that boys brought up only by women will grow up to be extraordinarily feminine or overly sensitive. This shouldn’t be too big of a concern, however, especially when your son is little – don’t worry too much about him getting into your makeup, for example. Even though he may seem interested in putting on your lipstick, more than likely, this isn’t a behavior that will continue as he matures. If you have a genuine concern about this, teach your son the things that men do to get ready in the morning, such as shaving. Since boys often have more energy to burn off than girls, consider getting him a chinning bar for his room or, if you haven’t already, get him involved with an organized sports team to foster an interest in staying fit and being healthy. But most importantly, remember that a single mother is just as capable as a husband and wife to raise a happy, healthy son.
About the Author: Renee Martinez consults and speaks professionally on social media marketing, integrated marketing communications, public relations and branding. She is the president of Ruby Marketing Communications (www.rubymarcom.com), a boutique marketing communications company that specializes in providing branding, social media strategy and integration, and creative services. Her blog (www.lisac95.sg-host.com), provides resources on everything marketing and social media for her active audience.
Renee has contributed as a featured monthly columnist in the monthly jewelry industry publication, JCK on matters related to internet marketing as well as in InStore Magazine as a featured blogger where she writes about developing effective marketing strategies for the jewelry industry using social media. She is the founder of: Social Media Biz Summit (www.socialmediabizsummit.com), the first large-scale SM conference to come to Buffalo, NY; #jewelrychat, a weekly twitter chat for the jewelry industry and www.RaisingBoysWorld.com. Renee teaches social marketing courses at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY for the business school as well as offers small group social media marketing training and educational seminars for businesses in Western New York and beyond.
Renee has dabbled in internet marketing arena since the early 90′s and is not ashamed to call herself a “marketing geek”. From chatting in AOL, “sharing” music on Napster, and teaching HTML classes before it was considered “cool” to developing comprehensive social media strategies, effective public relations campaigns and managing online communities (most recently Chevy Girls Buffalo).
She enjoys being able to help people find their voice online and to create buzz about their product or service that will give them the results they desire. Renee can be found on Twitter (@reneemmartinez) and Facebook (http:/www.facebook.com/RubyMarCom).
