This is a guest post by Nan Gibbons, proud single mother of Reid, as well as a driven businesswoman who owns a personal training and fitness advisory company in San Diego. Nan and Reid enjoy travel, spending time at the beach (currently learning how to surf), and the company of their mischievous puppy, Cody. You can read more on her lifestyle website: Eat Breathe Blog or follow her on Twitter: @healthnut2011
As much as I love my son Reid, I understand that my number one goal as a mother is to help launch him into the real world as a self-sufficient, independent adult. But what steps can you take to help a three year old (at least in my case) begin thinking with an independent mindset?
Independence is best built in gradual steps. We want our children to make their own sound decisions, but this isn’t going to happen overnight. Begin slowly by asking your child what sort of sides they would like for dinner or what color shirt they would like to wear on a given day. But I wanted Reid to start taking on bigger decisions on his own, and I knew an opportunity would present itself for him to do just that when we moved into our new beach-side home.
I decided to take a big step in the independence building process and let Reid design his new bedroom. He didn’t like the idea of a new room at first, mainly because he was so used to his old bedroom, but when I told him that he could decide on what his new room would look like he warmed up to the idea. I decided that I would let him have a say in everything from the color of the walls to the carpet squares.
I knew it would be quite an adventure to let a three year old design his own bedroom, but I also knew it was an important step in the independence building process. So, I was willing to put up with all the crazy design combinations that he was bound to come up with. I made sure to give him suggestions throughout the process, but I let him know that there was no “wrong choice,” because I wanted to make it clear that this was his room so it would have whatever look he desired.
The look that he actually wanted was an interesting one, to say the least. He wanted everything from “SpongeBob’s house” to a “dinosaur land.”
The SpongeBob theme actually made sense, given the fact that we were on the beach- so we went the local store and picked out some SpongeBob bedding. While there we found some dinosaur-themed decorations that could be incorporated throughout the bedroom.
But before we could put up the t-rex wall decals, we needed to decide on a color for the walls. I figured he would go with his favorite color, blue, so I was a little taken back when he chose pink, but he insisted that it would be the perfect color. In a few years’ time I’ll probably get the “why did you ever let me have a pink room” comment, but I decided to keep with his vision and just go with it.
So, in the end, Reid ended up with his dream bedroom: a pink room surrounded in a sea of SpongeBob and dinosaur decorations. It was definitely an interesting combination, but I knew it was good for Reid to start making big decisions, even at a young age. You may think that you need to make all of your child’s decisions (I know I did), but it’s important to start thinking of your child’s independence, and doing that will definitely give your child long-term benefits.
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