By Contributing Author Nan Gibbons of Eat Breathe Blog
Image courtesy of Somenoise
It’s natural to want to protect children from some of the realities of adult life. Unfortunately, it’s not always in your child’s best interest to keep problems a secret. Financial hardship affects everyone in the family and is an opportunity to start a conversation about money problems and tough times ahead.
Just tell them the truth
Kids have better instincts than you might think. Chances are they’ll pick up on the stress you’re feeling and figure out something is wrong. A straightforward conversation is better than letting them create their own scenario. Provide reassurance that you have the situation under control, but avoid making promises that will be tough to keep. Blanket statements like, “I’ll have a new job by next week” or “We can go on vacation just like always” may backfire on you. Be honest and direct. If you need to suspend your child’s dance classes or allowance, they deserve to know the truth as soon as possible.
Limit the scary details
Your conversation should be age-appropriate. Older kids might want to know more about what is going on and that’s okay. Be honest about your financial situation but avoid overloading younger children with details that might confuse and scare them. Answer their questions as honestly as possible, but keep your child’s age in mind and the discussion at their level.
Don’t be negative
Kids respond better to challenges and incentives. Talk about the new way you will be budgeting for the family and tack on whatever reward system you can afford. Don’t focus on what they are losing; concentrate on what they have to gain with the new plan. If a former stay-at-home parent will now be working outside the home, create a list of chores that will need to be done and offer a non-monetary reward for completing tasks. Housework will get done and children will learn responsibility while also earning a trip to the park, a favorite museum or a sleepover with friends. Finding ways for a child to contribute more to the home can also help them feel like they’re working toward a solution instead of dwelling on the negative.
Don’t be afraid to set limits
Although it’s not a parent’s favorite thing to do, sometimes you have to say no. Remind yourself of this fact when it’s time to explain to a child why they cannot have something you can’t currently afford. If your daughter wants to know why she can’t have the latest trendy toy, tell her. If possible, give her a way to get what she wants in the future, such as saving her allowance, money she earns babysitting or creating a wish list for her birthday.
Face the facts as a family
Budgeting is a fact of life your child is going to deal with as an adult. Your financial problems might be a learning experience. Sit down as a family and do the budget. You can write up a page that shows how much money is available for food each week and what you need to pay the bills. Including your children in the budgeting process will make them feel important. A written plan and budget serve as visual tools to make the situation more concrete, but also prove it is manageable. Now is a great time for your child to learn about budgeting themselves.
Make it fun
Create games together to help save for the holidays. Doing so is an effective way to teach money-handling skills. Set up family time cutting coupons and put out jars to collect change. Times may be tough, but they don’t have to be boring.
Hard times happen for every family. How you handle things will set the tone for your children. Being honest is the most effective way to reassure them. Once the news is out, you can work together as a family to get by and make things better.
About the Author: Nan Gibbons is the proud single mother of her three-year-old son Reid. As a licensed nutritionist and personal trainer, she owns and operates her own personal training business in San Diego. In their free team, Nan and Reid enjoy exploring the beach with their lab mix Cody, putting together puzzles, and having healthy cooking adventures. Visit her blog: Eat Breathe Blog
